you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
