Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Houston, we have a blender
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
