I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
