My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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