It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
