Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
