Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
