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• (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

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• (386): View more from Florida

  She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....

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• (786): View more from Florida

  His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.

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