From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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