Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
