Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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