i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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