And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
