Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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