If i come over, it means nothing
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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