You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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