So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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