I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
