It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
