Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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