hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
