i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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