Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
