i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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