last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
