just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh god was she eating orange peels again
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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