We won't sleep together?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
