I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
