He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
