Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
