the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
