"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
