It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
