I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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