is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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