He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
