she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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