Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
