Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
