just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
