you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
