She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
