Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
