And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
