I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
