SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
