Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
