So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
