I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
