found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
smell my finger.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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